In October 2005, Ted's humorous speech entry was titled, "Camping with Lobster". Below is the text.
The true story I shall tell you involved camping with my family this past August. That’s why I am wearing my camping clothes.
If you had been car-camping for 4 nights, with 5 people and had visited 5 states, would you want to visit a 6th state?
I shall repeat: Car-camping for 4 nights, 5 people and a big black dog and had camped in the states PA , NY, NH (2 nites), would you need to visit Maine?
OK, those of you who would, are very adventuresome. And the winners! Those of you who wouldn’t push on to Maine are quite sensible.
If you had been car camping for 4 nights without a stove or pot, how many of you would need to buy a pot?
At the beginning of my story, we were in rural Maine, at a thrift store, evaluating a pot. More precisely, the seafood lovers were eying an aluminum pot enthusiastically. We got a great deal on a pot and a pair of tongs!
With clear direction , Onward to the briny Maine coastline we drove.
The 5th morning, the sun was beaming down on the tidal flats just below our campsite. With the marine smell in our noses, we felt like rambunctious children. We hastened thru our campers’ breakfast, ready to tour a few of the Maine peninsulas. With our tent flaps still open, we climbed into the van and drove off.
By the afternoon, we had established that YES, Maine did have lobster, and had purchased 5 of these spiny critters.
I am wearing my camping clothes. They are designed to dry out quickly. That’s important, because while we were finding the lobsters, a rain squall had drenched our campsite. We were flabbergasted, as we zipped the tent flaps closed. Hadn'’t the sun been shining for 4 days straight?
Grandma is a seafood lover and quick-witted , too. She recognized we had to sleep in a motel. We were already to jump in the car again, but I had to linger just a little longer at our drenched campsite. I remembered! We had 5 live lobster! Having these critters meant we had to boil up a lobster pot, before we could escape to the motel. So we broke down the tasks.
My Son-in-Law is a great fire-starter, and so is Grandma.
Quickly they had the dry fast food wrappers in the fire pit. But the firewood was drenched!
How many of you know about hunting trips and men? What they will do? Men alone will do desperate things, even more so on a hunting trip. Even without beer, they can behave as though they are discovering fire for the first time. My son-in-law is a Hunter, and has had training in desperate campfires. He urged us to pour oil on the damp firewood.
Earlier, in the morning, Grandma had wondered what was using up the new bottle of canola oil so quickly. Now she knew. Cooking oil does ignite quickly!
However our thrift store pot still lacked a rolling boil. My son-in-law recognized he needed to escalate his efforts. He jumped in the van and returned triumphant, with a bottle of charcoal lighter fluid.
These antics did take our mind off the damp.
Our black dog remained warily in the van. I think he saw ghouls making merry around a campfire. After the dog had seen enough, he pushed the Cooler off the back of the van … to distract us. The eggs broke, but we did have boiling water and 5 lobsters!
On this vacation, I had enough leisure time to read the operating instructions for the camera. When the flames of the campfire were leaping up, I knew what to do. I used the “fireworks setting” on my camera.
The motel took us in, and the dog, too. I ordered Domino’s pizza, while the others ate lobster with melted butter. Jay Leno was so funny.
Our lucky trip was drawing to a close. I asked my Grandson , how he would name this episode. His answer gave me the other title for my story. It is “What People will do for Lobster!”
For more photos of this trip, click here.
I recall when my Oma Johanna joked -- her hand-crochet coat hangars would outlast her!
(Well, at least I think I've got this pasted/posted to the proper location/position. Now for the bigger picture...)
